wanna know what would be so cool?

if you followed my tumblr.


do it.
do it.
do it.
do it.

http://wearshearton.tumblr.com/

this is really pointless.

class with jen. good deal.

the day has been far too stressful. i don't even know what to do about it.

story of my life.

oh life, always kicking my butt.

my future family and husband.

since i'm all about the lists, i'm going to make a list of things i want for my future family. since that is probably one of my biggest concerns.

• i want my children to have a father who loves them more than anything.
• actually, i want my children to know they are loved by the both of us.
• i don't want to spend nights away from my husband. especially b.c. (before children)
• i don't want my kids to ever see their parents divorce. it ruins families.
• i want my children to have a stable childhood.
• i want my children to be able to use their parents as a leading example of a marriage they want to model after.
• i want my husband to love me, always.
• i want to wait until i'm married to have sex.
• i don't want to cuss in front of my children.
• i want my children to be open with me.
• i want to read to my children.
• i want to pray with my husband, everyday.
• i want to pray with my children, everyday.
• i want to have a heart that wants to submit to my husband everyday, not just feel like i have to.
• i want more pictures of my children than digits in π.

my real life list is a whole lot longer, i just didn't want to post the whole thing up here. as much as i don't want to be huge one day, there is nothing i want more than to have children and be a good mom and wife.

nothing.

so i suppose i should add "have a husband who loves me and is attracted to me even when i'm huge and in my ninth month of pregnancy.



random survey:

1. taken a picture naked? no.

2. painted your room? yep.

3. made out with a member of the same sex? on the daily. ha. riiiight.

4. drove a car? yes.

5. danced in front of your mirror? now that i really do on the daily.

6. have a crush? i don't crush. i'm not 7 years old.

7. been dumped? not exactly.

8. stole money from a friend? no.

9. gotten in the car with people you didnt know? no. i learned not to do that when i was like, 3.

10. been in a fist fight? no.

11. had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? yep.

12. had feelings for a friend? understatement of the year.

14. made out with a stranger? no. i don't even really make out.

15. met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yes?

16. left your house with out telling your parents? yeah.

17. had a crush on your neighbor? so many grand options...oh wait.

18. ditched school to do something more fun? certainly.

19. slept (not had sex) in a bed with a member of the same sex? yes.

20. seen someone die? no.

21. been on a plane? no, i swam to japan.

22. kissed a picture? yes.

23. slept in until 3? not if i wasn't sick.

24. miss someone right now? yes.

25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yes.

26. made a snow angel? yes.

27. played dress up? yes.

28. cheated while playing a game? yes.

29. been lonely? yes.

30. fallen asleep at work/school? oh, yes.

31. been to a bar? yes.

32. felt an earthquake? yep.

33. touched a snake? yep. i love snakes.

34. ran a red light? accidentally.

35. been suspended from school? nope.

36. had detention? ha, yes.

37. been in a car accident that you didnt cause? never been in one.

38. hated the way you look? yes.

39. witnessed a crime? yes.

39. been the person doing the crime? if stealing tests in junior high counts.

40. pole danced? no.

41. been lost? story of my life.

42. been to the opposite side of the country? i'm in the middle.

43. felt so sick you thought you might die? yes.

44. cried yourself to sleep? enough times to hate doing it.

46. sang karaoke? duh. i sing all the time, anyway.

47. done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? yes.

48. laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? yep.

49. caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes.

50. kissed in the rain? yes.

51. sang in the shower? yes. i sing everywhere.

52. had sex in a park? i've never even had sex. so, definitely not in a park.

53. had a dream where you were married? yes.

54. glued your hand to something? yes.

55. got your tongue/”arm” stuck to a flag pole? no?

56. ever gone to school partially naked? no. ha.

57. been a cheerleader? it's been a long time.

58. sat on a roof top? yes.

59. didn’t take a shower for a week? no.

60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? yes.

61. played chicken? no.

62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yep.

64. broken a bone? no.

65. been easily amused? yes, duh?

66. laughed so hard you cried? yeah.

67. mooned/flashed someone? no.

68. cheated on a test? yes.

69: forgotten someones name? yes.

70. slept naked? yes.

71. gone skinny dipping? no.

73. blacked out from drinking? no.

74. played a prank on someone? yes.

75. gone to a late night movie? yes.

76. made love to anything not human? are you serious? that's sick.

77. failed a class? yes.

78. choked on something you’re not supposed to eat? no.

79. played an instrument for more than 10 hours in total? no.

80. been cheated on? no.

81. did you celebrate the 4th of July? favorite holiday.

82. thrown strange objects? probably.

83. felt like killing someone? eh. not really.

84. felt like running away? all the time.

86. did drugs? no.

87. had detention and not attend it? no.

89. made a parent cry? i don't know.

90. cried about someone? duh.

91. had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period? ha, again. never had sex.

92. dated someone you didn’t even like? no.

93. had/have a dog? yes.

95. own an instrument? yes.

96. been in band? no.

97. drank 25 sodas in a day? no.

98. broken a CD? yes.

99. shot a gun? yes!

100. had feelings for one of your best friends? yes.

2010.

the first thing i want to see. by perplexing aesthetics on Polyvore.com

it really just dawned on me that i graduate soon. i saw that my last blog said 2010 at the top next to the date, and it hit me that i'm almost done. i have been waiting for this year for so long. so long. now i'm almost dreading it. not seeing everyone, everyday? the thought scares me. half of my friends are going to u of i. so, that's good and bad. i can see them all at one college, good. that's not down the road, bad. being done with high school will be bittersweet.

i just feel like i need to get the hell out of here. away from everyone. go be by myself, do things for myself, and start over. everything is screwed here anyway.

2009: all about you ..
- did you change at all this year? yes.
- did you dye your hair? yes.
- did you get your hair cut? yes.
- did you change your style? i guess.
- did you have a job? yes.
- did you drive? yes.
- did you move at all? yes.

2009: your love life ..
- did you break up with anyone? yes...
- did you meet anyone special? yes...

2009: friends and enemies ..
- did you meet any new friends this year? heavens, yes.
- did any of your friendships end? yeeeuup.
- who were your closest friends? they know who they are. better yet, you know if you aren't.
- did you grow apart from anyone? a lot of someones. a whole church of them, in fact.


2009: questions ..
- have you had any relationships this year? yes.
- kissed two or more people in the same night? try five. ha, sike. i'm not that much of a rockstar.
- pulled an all nighter? many.
- drank starbucks? ha, on the daily.
- met someone special who changed your life? if you can re-meet people, yes.
- been out of the state? yes. not enough times, though.

2009: i have ..
[ ] fallen out of love
[x] lied
[x] went behind your parents back
[x] pretended to be happy
[x] kissed in the rain
[ ] slept under the stars
[x] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[xxxxxxxx] changed your outlook on life
[ ] almost died
[x] given up something important to you
[x] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[xxxxxxxx] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise
[ ] was never home on weekends
[ ] got into a car accident (witnessed one, though. tyler. gah...)
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[ ] had someone close to you die
[x] spent most of your money on food
[ ] went to the beach with your best friend
[x] saw a celebrity
[ ] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[x] kissed in/on a car
[x] kissed in the snow
[x] celebrated Halloween
[ ] mooned someone
[x] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] done something you've regretted
[ ] kissed under mistletoe
[x] painted a picture
[ ] wrote a poem
[x] ran a mile
[x] posted a blog (ha.)

2009: random questions ..
- what are you thinking about? life.
- have you drank alcohol this year? on the daily. oh wait...
- how did you feel when you woke up today? chill.
- if you could change your eye color would you? i don't know. i might. i like green.
- who did you last get into a big argument with? tyler.
- do you like to have long hair or short hair? long.
- do you want to get married & have children one day? i want so badly, but i don't want to fail. so, i still have to decide if it's worth it.
- which of your friends do you argue with the most? tyler.
- how many texts are in your inbox? probaby a couple thousand since my phone doesn't delete texts.
- who was your last text message from? mel.
- who was the last person you rode in a car with? tyler.
- who took your profile picture? harry potter.
- have you ever cut class? yep.
- have you ever liked someone alot older than you? ha..!!! yeah.
- if you had a baby with the last person you texted, what would the baby's last name be? i don't want to say.
- last thing you ate? bread.
- how many people are you texting? none.
- do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? like a serious conversation? nate kelch? never. nothing but pure love, there.

a wild heart can't be broken.

pow wow via telephone with kelly. kell bell is such a good friend.

actually, i have so many good friends. like, kell bell, jen, and julie. they've all three talked to me today and been there for me and even though i still feel like crap, i am so thankful i have them.

my conversation with julie has really opened my eyes to some important things. and, maybe helped me make some choices i really need to make.

talked to russ tonight, too. good deal.

so, i'm not going to chi this weekend now. bummer. talk about buzzkill,



it's whatever. life is whatever.

you know how i do.

so, i've discovered that the only thing that takes my mind off of stupid stuff is lists. so i will be posting lots of lists from now on.




for now, i'm going to dance practice. dress rehearsal. tomorrow's dance is going to be tight.

then, pow wow with jen. we both need it. she needs my moral compass, and well, i just need her.

it's whatever. life is whatever. i'll post something better, later.

new decade, what's up.

third decade i've been a part of.

cool.

my head hurts.

not cool.

my life in numbers, lately (and, not really lately):

0. the number of times i've smoked. lame on my part, i know.
0. the amount of paintings i've done over break. double lame.
0. the number of jobs i currently have.
0. the number of tanning packages i have.
0. the number that i'd like to see next to size on the tag of my jeans.
1. the number of times i've seen each of my best friends sarah, mel, and ash over break.
2. the number i actually see on the tag of my jeans.
3. the number of movies i've seen over break.
3. the number of decades i've lived through.
3. the number of days until i go back to school.
4. the number of days until we dance again.
5. the number of kids i want to have. (2 boys, 3 girls. not that i can pick.)
6. my unlucky number. if i were to believe in luck, anyway.
6.5 my usual shoe size.
7. the number days a week i watch the news.
7. the number of days a week that God has given me, so far.
7. the number of letters in my real first name.
10. the age i was when i decided i wanted a barcode from carmex tattooed onto my butt.
13. how old i was when i had my first kiss.
14. the age i was when i got caught stealing tests for math.
18. the age i am now. hello, right to vote!
4,103. the number of tweets i've tweeted, ever.




so, let's think. what are some things i'd like to see get done by the next decade?

i'm going to make a list.

i'd like to...

• go to alaska. at least visit. see the northern lights.
• go to college.
• get married to someone who actually loves me like crazy.
• maybe have a kid or two.
• get a puppy. alaskan malamute or teacup yorkie.
• go to new york, at least once. better yet, go shopping in new york city.
• atlanta, georgia. i want to go there.
• skinny dip. yeah, i've really never done that. i know, i'm lame.
• have more than five piercings.
• get a tat.
• have a legit job.
• i'd like to see london, if that's not too much to ask for.
• have someone get me flowers. never had that, before.
• try beer.
• own an iphone. yeah, i feel like a tool for even typing that.
• go a full week without tweeting.
• have a kitty named pancakes.
• i want to live in a house with big windows. like the one i had to design for art.


that's all i've got, for now.

my headache is killing me.