you're my daydream.

"you're my daydream.
does it make you homesick for me?
i'm still missing you. 
i guess that i have never really had you..."

ha.
cool.

last night was the halloween dance. i took ash. we had fun.
i went as amy winehouse. bahaha. ash had to draw the pocket tattoo. it was legit. my friend kelly had the best costume. tom cruise from risky business. it was hilarious. i will post pictures from it later.

the seasons are changing.
i'm so excited for winter.
it's my favorite.
i know you know this.

scooby doo is on.
i love it.
i love halloween.
i'm dressing up as harry potter.

my birthday is in 36 days.
i can't wait.
i hope i get ungrounded by then...

last night, i was taking kayla home (the only time i can drive into peoria) and on my way home, a deer jumped out infront of me. my biggest fear when driving might have to be hitting a deer. so i started thinking of all bad things that could happen while driving. all the different ways to die. erin's accident and how lucky she is. etc. and then i realized that if i were to die right now, my last times/weeks here on earth would be spent grounded. kept from the beauty of the world, and life. miserable. now, i am not scared of dying, but i am scared of dying like this.
so, i want to be happy. making the most of what i have. afterall, it could be worse.

i have come a long way. a year ago, i wasn't scared of dying, i was scared of living. not only was i scared of it, i was sick of it.

i have come so far.
and, i still have so far to go.