some things i've been thinking...

currently listening to: Let's Get Married by Archie Star. so good, but makes me sad. i'm still so young.

well, for starters, i turn 18 in 42 days. gaaah, i love my birthday.
will 18 be different from 17? probably not, but i can hope.

so today i woke up, tyler came over and we went to church. northwoods is doing that whole southside missions food thing - i can't wait to hear how that went. i had to drop something off at my grandma laurie's. no one answered, so i left it in their mailbox. i forgot to tell my mom that i left it in their mailbox, and since i didn't have a phone i didn't text them from tyler's phone or anything so i wouldn't get in trouble for using the phone when i'm not supposed to... blah. i forgot to tell my mom though so she wasn't too pleased when she thought i completely forgot to take it there, when really, i took it there and waited (and knocked several times) for ten minutes. blah, then my mom was like "well tyler has a phone." which is true, but i didn't know if i was allowed to use it. blaah, i just get nervous when i do something wrong. the last thing i want to for nikki to be mad at me, more. i just want to move on from all of this.

i will move on, and grow, from all of this.

i will.

i will.

i need a glass of milk.

i need to talk to my best friend. i can't wait for ashlee to come over later this week. i'm hoping that'll make things better.


i guess that is all i have to say for now. so i'm going to start a list of things i want. it makes me more excited for my birthday, as if i even need it.


wait, first. i'm going to post a list of albums molly wants on her. (molly being my ipod)
- the fame by lady gaga (i lost it when my ipod deleted everything. weak.)
- where the wild things are soundtrack (gotta love karen o)
- fearless by taylor swift (when the one with 6 bonus tracks comes out)
- break up by pete yorn and scarlett johansson
- so far gone by drake
- it's blitz by the yeah yeah yeahs
- carry me home by archie star


and now for my birthday list. and christmas list.

Coach Aubrie Boot, in black. Size 7.
Coach Joss Sneaks, in black and white. Size 7.
Coach Selena Boots, in tan. please. Size 7.
Toms in natural/coral, or natural, or black. Size 6.5.
Coach Hailey Crossbody bag, in purple. or black.
Naughty Monkey Haute Rocker 2 boots, in brown. Size 6.5.
UGG Classic Tall, in Mulberry. Size 6.
Naughty Monkey Risky Business Pumps, in black. Size 6.5.
North Face Pink Ribbon Osito, in white. Size small. Or medium. I'm down with either.
North Face Black Osito. Small, or meduim.
Patagonia R4 Jacket in Seaport, size small.
New Tartan Spotlight Bag from the Poppy Collection. Coach. This is the bag I want most. I'd kill for such a thing.
UGG Classic Tall in Sunflower. Size 6.
Where the Wild Things Are UGG boots, kids size 6. Max's crown.
Philosophy shampoo in Pumpkin Spice, Vanilla Birthday Cake, Coffee House collection, Red Velvet Cake!, Pink Frosted Layer Cake, The Sweet Shoppe Set, and Coconut Frosting.
Diorshow Blackout Mascara, NOT waterproof, in black.


gah, that's all i've got for now. i think i'm taking my sister to wildlife prarie park tonight.

maybe.

atleast it'll be me getting out of the house.




i need space to breathe that isn't home.